Dream Spring

I dream vividly, and often I'm lucky enough to remember them (at least parts) for even days after. Lately I've been having bad dreams, probably due to eating shortly before bed.

Often my dreams take place in recurring settings, places that don't actually exist, of my mind's own architecture. Had it struck my fancy, I would have quite the talent for architecture. Last night's dream was in a public bath, underground stone hot springs grouped in the corners of the cave. It was there that I waited patiently, hoping that my love would show up. And so he did, but not before another young man in the hot springs had sidled up to me. I remember he asked if I was single, and I said no, because I didn't want him, I wanted the one I awaited. But nonetheless when my love arrived, the young man had fallen asleep on my shoulder in the hot waters. My love's eyes wandered briefly across my bare breasts, then questioned me about my companion. When I said I did not know the boy's name, my love commented that I work quickly. I tried to redeem myself, to shove off the boy and make it known that he meant nothing to me, that I waited upon another's heart. My love began to talk about the delicacies of courtship, and I made note of consequences. In this dream he still does not know it is he, and I had to hint that he was the one I wanted.

Before I went to the springs another of my favorite dream-structures featured; a pool tube with bars and handholds so that I could do pull-ups from the water and hold on to the bottom while testing my lungs. If I were ever dastardly rich I might build something like it. But one can dare to dream.

Mostly I continue to think about my crush, and I think the boy in my dream represents all the playthings I'm wasting my time with now, on the premise that I have needs to fulfill and that my love would understand that they mean nothing.

A few weeks back, and I'm quite sure I didn't write this down, I dreamt of my love and he knew, and we were a couple, and he even impressed my mother (an impossibility in real life). One detail that stood out about this particular dream is he had platinum hair. But he always seemed to be running in front of me.

But these dreams only reflect how much I'm thinking about him. Because I am not one whose fondness fades with absence, and this one is special for he appeared in dreams long ago. He's probably appeared in my dreams five times by now.