Search tags: Transexual. "I'm a girl but I feel like a boy on the inside what do I do?" "I'm a boy but I feel like a girl on the inside what do I do?"
(Adults) read stories about transgender youngsters who go on to be beauty pageant winners or pop stars because... they look nothing like their original sex! There's one way to accomplish that: hormone suppression.
I didn't learn about this until it was too late. I went through puberty, and those changes to my body are now only reversible by extensive surgery. A situation all transgenders should try to avoid. So if you're searching for answers, this is a place to start. If you haven't hit puberty and you're afraid that puberty will send you in the wrong direction, talk to a doctor immediately. If they're a good doctor, they will help you to get a prescription for puberty suppressing pills. This basically holds your unsexualized child's body in suspension; you are then free to choose your path by taking supplements of your choice sex hormone (ex: testosterone for female-to-male) or stopping the suppressants and continuing puberty naturally with your existing gonads. You can stay on these pills for many years if you're still not sure what you want to do with your body. But if you aren't sure, don't let your gonads choose for you before you're ready.
If you have a bad doctor and they say "ohh its all in your head, its a phase" then (in your head, not out loud) tell them to go fuck themselves and find another doctor willing to help you. I realize that as a child this can be difficult. Start with your paediatrician (pediatrician, kid's doctor) and if that doesn't work, then get your parent to take you to another doctor or a psychiatrist (if you're not ready to come out to mom and dad, saying "I'm sad a lot" might get you the appointment you need; childhood depression has some stigma but not nearly as much, and psychiatrists are usually better prepared to handle transgender kids than general doctors).
Note: As a person on their way to becoming a doctor, I can assure you: doctors are just people too. They have book smarts. That doesn't mean that they know what's best for you. Many kids will be inclined to believe what their doctor says because they're a doctor, even if its about their own feelings. Trust your feelings. Your doctor can't see inside your head. There are no mind readers or fortune tellers, even if some doctors are arrogant enough to act the part. This is not to say "don't trust doctors ever", but don't let one talk you out of continuing to pursue your best you; if you've found this page, you're probably pretty serious about it, and should not take no for an answer. The method I'm recommending is not a final decision either; its a chance to take some extra time to decide for yourself.
What to expect from puberty supressors: you will not develop body hair, you will not develop breasts or hips, your voice will not deepen, your hands and feet will not get bigger (boys). You can maintain this state of suspended development at least until 16 years old. If you trust your older self to make a better decision about your gender, then this is a great option. But if you intend to transition, you do need to suppress your body's default hormones, and that starts with the same medicine.
The transgenders who fully realize themselves are the ones brave enough to ask for help, usually from their parents. I was not one of these kids. If you, like me, are not ready to talk to your parents about the way you feel, or you think your parents will reject you, start by just getting yourself into the doctor's office. Fake a fever or stomach ache that won't go away. If you're really daring, make it a genital itch so that you can be in the examination room alone with a reproductive doctor. Do not waste this chance; your doctor is not allowed to tell your parents anything you tell them, unless you tell your doctor that you're going to kill yourself. And remember, this man or woman's judgment about you has zero consequences. So feel free to tell them exactly what you want; if they help you, great, if not, you never have to see them again and your parents will never know. If you're feeling really shy, write a note, stick it in your pocket, then hand it to the doctor when you see them. If they refuse to help, make sure to take that note back, and throw it away in private (or flush down the toilet for ultimate security).
I wish you the very best of luck, my friend; if you have any more questions or you just want to talk, comment on this post or email me at androbane@gmail.com. I don't claim to have the answers, but I can certainly help you look.
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