I'm going camping

I just don't give a shit anymore. I'm running away, into the woods, to stare up at the stars and think about the universe and let the vastness calm me because all the little things that stress me out really. don't. matter. at all. maybe a little bit, on our egoscopic level. but really the things we try to do here are a pastime. If we succeed, great. If not, well depends on the project I guess. But the real point is to stop caring about what other people think, especially the spoil-sports, who don't understand that a contribution inferior to their own (by their measure, mind you) is still a contribution. That every little bit matters and that each individual's unique way of contributing is necessary to our success as a whole. It sucks that I have to take time off to go stare at stars and swim in a lake to convince myself of this, but the first step to fixing a problem is admitting that there is one. Step two is actually addressing it. Suppressing the problem has worked... kinda. But I've made myself ill. I've crippled my brain and body trying so hard to keep up with extraordinary expectations that are rapidly becoming ordinary. Our conglomerate society is getting smarter faster than individuals can keep up. Even if our learning as a race, our body of knowledge, continues to grow in absolute time, every new person must start from the beginning, and it takes time for our brains to absorb knowledge that was discovered hundreds of years ago. We're going to get to the point that, by the time one has absorbed enough knowledge to contribute something new, one will be too old to conduct the study. But perhaps that explains the existence of graduate student henchmen who don't really know what they're doing; they're exploring the ideas of people who have had 50 years to absorb the entire knowledge base of their field and to identify questions that we haven't yet answered. But the drive to outrun ourselves is remarkable. This test of stamina, its basically a competition. But after a while, I have to wonder what we're competing for, and if its really important to me to win.