As I've been considering leaving the state, I keep thinking that I won't be able to see the man who has consumed my thoughts for many months now. I think to myself, before I leave, I should call him up, ask him to lunch, give him the gift that's sitting here on my desk.
So this morning, I had a dream. It was a rather silly dream. We were in his house, sitting on his couch, his son with the babysitter in another room. I don't remember what the conversation was, but I was kissing his hand, telling him that yes, he was special. Then he said something surprising. The semester is over, so now we can go on a date. I looked at him, asked him if he was serious. He asked me where we were going. I kissed his temple.
So we went outside his house, and there was my mom's old silver Camaro, and I had severe problems trying to drive it. In reality it is a very heavy car with a very powerful motor, not suitable for small maneuvers. It took me ten minutes in my dream just to get it turned around and out of the driveway to the street. Then, for some reason, a cop was at the window, and we were ticketed. I looked down the street and at least six other cars were lined up, also being fined. I thought to myself, this date is already going horribly. He looked bored and annoyed, just as I would be in the passenger seat of that situation. But then, I thought, lets dispel this with some royal activity. Let's go to the roller rink. I was worried how he might react to such a childish suggestion, not that he's adverse to such things but how it would reflect on me. My dream did not get that far.
A few weeks ago I watched a documentary in which the focus person was a man that reminded me so strongly of my crush, I just had to post a clip here. Yes, my secret love's soul doppelganger is a bleach-blonde reverend who makes sermons against American consumerism. And I love it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXqOlaSxv-k
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